My BOO-tylicious Halloween

The costumes, the candy, the crazy --  if you're doing it right, Halloween always leads to a few wild stories. There was a decent-sized group of us this year, but as is usual when I go out with straight friends, it wasn't long before everyone coupled off and I was left to do what I do best: take over the dance floor.

My hips are very truthful.

I was making my rounds, bouncing between couples as the fabulous third wheel to all of their Halloween escapades, but I made my usual detours along the way. My game plan goes like this:

1. Dance by myself in the middle of the floor.
2. After no more than 10 seconds, make eye contact with a group of girls.
3. Become best friends and take pictures on all of their cameras so they have something to look back on when I become famous.

It's a public service, really.

At one point, I saw my friend Alex from across the room, and our obvious solution to the problem was to hop on the table and dance to each other. She got down, but I felt it was my duty to keep serving the crowd with my presence. That is, until a group of Asians pulled me down and feverishly asked to take their picture with me.

Turns out, when Alex got down, she walked over to those Asians, and their conversation went something like this:

Alex: Do you guys know who that is?? (Pointing up to me.) 

Asians: No?

Alex: Really?! He's this huge reality star in America! That's why he's been taking pictures with people all night!

Asians: ... Really?! Are you sure??

Alex: Yeah! He's on the E! Network back in the US, so you might not get his show here, but he's a really big deal!!

In all fairness, I think my Despicable Me costume
may have been trash TV-worthy that night.

 You know what they say. Fake it till you make it.