My Pelvis is Out of Line

A few month's ago, a new chiropractor opened up where my town's beer distributor used to be. (Classy, right? I know, I love it.) Well, my mom's been going there for a while, and she came home yesterday with a surprise -- she had made me an appointment!

First of all, I love chiropractors. I've only ever been one other time, and it was wonderful. Needless to say, I was ok with this development.

So I went to the appointment, laid on the table, and had my initial screening done to see what's wrong with me. Long story short, she told me I'm a hot mess. I can't say I was shocked; My posture sucks, I constantly crack my back, and my hips are above my belly button. I know that I'm awkwardly built. (Cue thank you to my paternal genes.)

One thing I was not expecting to hear ... was that my pelvis is out of alignment. That's right, people -- apparently, that can happen now. I'm guessing it's from all of the late-night thrusting I tend to do.

What can I say? I like to dance.

Well, I guess all of this dancing can get a little out of control. Enough that, on my way out of the office, I had to schedule my next four appointments.

So, last night, I was hanging out with friends, and I told them about this recent personal debacle. They said they would try to control my pelvis and stop me if it got out of hand.

Let's just say I'm going back to the chiropractor in the morning.